Do not give a narcissistic bitch the microphone

by kkmeow

I have been told probably at least  once a day for probably the last 6 years that:
1. I am beautiful (Or something analogous)
2. I am crazy (Or eccentric, weird, insane… Something analogous)
At least once a day. By at least one person.

At first, these terms, at least in combination, sound really nice. It’s romantic to be beautiful but a little bit crazy, n’est pas? NO. It sounds romantic now, but it’s really fucking stifling after say………. 8 or 9 hundred times. Why? Because why do you really mean, anyways? I do not know why I have features that this particular set of humanoids on the planet right now said are aesthetically pleasing, but that is exactly what people are expressing when they say I am “pretty”.  Also, I do not know why almost everyone I meet concludes that I am insane. Have you taken a look at the DSM lately? Am I in there? NO

Maybe you should tell me I am boring and ugly. MAYBE I NEED TO HEAR IT. Maybe I am tired of being looked at like an abstract painting. Maybe I am trying to explain the exact same sentiment as you are and you are missing it because you are crazy, and you are looking at me out of some fucked up kaleidoscope of social constructions.

“beautiful”… WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN.
And “crazy”… !? Can we be a bit more ambiguous, please?
I hate movies and I think there is a movie called “Crazy and Beautiful” so that is PISSING ME OFF EVEN MORE

If anyone reads this, it will probably only make them think I am crazier than they already do.

If you tell me I am either of these things you are perpetuating my insanity.

OH WAIT IT ISN’T REAL

And yes this may be an extreme response to many people’s good intentions, but when people call you crazy all the time, they accept that they won’t understand you, and they stop trying to understand you. And when people begin to think you are pretty, they quit listening to you at all.

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